Dear Friend,

I know you continually reprimand me because you don't want me to give up... You want me to be strong in facing the punitive realities of life... but sometimes, I just wish you wouldn't be too frank. Saying rude remarks about me and my work is considered an insult. You not only disparage and mock my effort, but you abase my dignity. You underestimate my capacity. You think you are better than me. Instaed of supporting me and encouraging me, you'd rather deprecate my foibles. Only insult me if you're sure you have better works than me. Only tell me that my works are mediocre if you're sure that yours aren't. You never even gave me the chance to explain myself. You prejudge me. You affront me. You think I'm not capable of change. I've kept up with this for so long, and I'm used to your nagging.. but what happened yesterday was the last straw. Ever since that incident happened... you've been making me miserable. You act strong, and you inflict emotional pain on me to prove your strength. But I know deep inside, you're just a lost, despondent girl, who wants others to be as miserable as herself.

Your friend,
Louisse


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To: Lou2x
Fr: Chin2x

Dear Louisse,

You're my cutest friend. I love you. I like to bully you because your reaction is cute. But if it is not cute, I get scared. But you are really cute and inspiring. That's why I cut myself because you cut yourself. Your pain is my pain. Though I may look oblivious to your feelings, deep inside I'm yearning to have the right words to comfort you. I'm just scared that I may not be enough to shield you from all the things you are suffering from. I am also scared that I may give you words that might reject. I am never a great comforter and even though my name means goddess of wisdom, I don't hold words of wisdom. Despite my incapabilities, I am your cutest friend. I am so cute that you might die saying I'm cute! Me so cute! Me so cute! >u< Meow!

Awww...I love my friends! I love you guys!
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Note: The second letter is not a reply letter to the first letter. Please do not confuse yourself.

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Dear Naru,

Why did you do that? Do you have any problems? Are you depressed? Please tell me what's going on.. I need to know. I care. I really do. I just hope you would be able to see that. It bugs me every night. I can't sleep trying to figure out why you did that. I saw your scars. And they're big ones. I was worried sick. I was surprised. I was shocked. Please ignore me no more. I am your friend. I am here for you. Forget about what happened in the past. The past is in the past. But even though we have both moved on, it doesn't mean my feelings for you are completely gone. I still care for you, because you have been a part of my life, and that fact can never change... Just please, start noticing me. I do exist, you know... And it hurts me every time you just pass by me. Before, I was the world to you, but now, it's as if I'm nothing in your sight...

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whew! c: tomorrow's the last day of 1st quarter examinations!!.. and I still haven't studied for the second subject... oh well! wish me luck! good night to everyone!! Gonna burn the midnight oil again.. Gawd, I need sleep...x.x
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Yours till the randomness,

damnit.
i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.

why can't i get anything right? because of my stupidity, i've influenced my friend to do foolish things. damn me. damn. maybe it could have been better if i was never born.

low self-esteem. i've always been and will always be a small, insiginificant thing in this world. what's the matter with me? i feel like i've destroyed everyone's hope and expectations. they look forward to seeing greater things from me, but i have only disappointed them. i've tried so hard to search for my purpose, but i still can't figure out why God chose me to be alive. Is it possible for Him to have made a mistake?



i'm feeling so low right now, and i'm starting to revive my old habit..

help me please. i really need advice. and please be sensitive. your words might cost me my life.

thank you.

Sometimes I wish that I was an angel
A fallen angel who visits your dreams
And in those dreams I'd blow you a message that says
You really want me

Sometimes I wish that I was a wrestler a Mexican wrestler
In a red vinyl mask and I might grab you and body slam you
And maybe cause physical harm
When we would laugh I might take pity on you
I could crack all your ribs but I cant break your heart

You will never love me
And this I cant forgive
That you will never love me
As long as I will live

Sometimes I wish that I was a beauty
A beautiful girl, the popular one
And I'd turn your head and your friends would love me
And I could afford to play hard to get
We'd go to parties and you'd show me off
Then I'd go out with your best friend

You will never love me
And this I cant forgive
And It will always bug me
As long as I will live
You will never love me
Why should I even care
It's not that your so special
You're just the cross I bear
You will never love me
You will never love me
And this I cant forgive
And it will always bug me
As long as I will live

-Mexican Wrestler, Emma Roberts version

>>>>>>...<<<<<<<

oh well. *sigh*

Even after days of ecstasy, just one talk with you sends me crying again

IHATEYOUYOUSTUPIDINSENSITIVEJERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


and yet..

♥


BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH D:

whatever.

im gonna leave you alone, bastard. oh yeahh!! i can do that.

and go on with my life pretending to have never experienced these feelings for you..

..and force myself to stop thinking about you.

bwhahaahhahaa D:<

yush! so happy! lulz.

im freee


and in luv